Jesus Mendoza is a member of the Class of 2028 at the Larner College of Medicine.
In this blog post, Mendoza reflects on what it means to go to medical school and how he has made it his home in his own ways.
“There is still so much medicine left to learn, but I am beginning to understand that becoming a good physician is about far more than what I know. It is about how deeply I am willing to care, how closely I am willing to listen, and how much of myself I am willing to give in service of another person.” — Jesus Mendoza ’28
Buenos Días Larner
It’s Monday, and the sweet aroma of free coffee fills the cafeteria. I fill my cup with the tart Black Forest roast and head toward the register. “Buenos días, mijo,” Doña Ingred says, greeting me with her familiar smile. The free coffee is only a bonus; what I really look forward to is seeing Doña Ingred. Far from home and the culture that has always grounded me, she has become an unexpected source of support as I have transitioned into my third year of medical school. Connected by our shared Latino roots, she has offered me a sense of familiarity, unconditional support, and love. She is someone with whom I can speak Spanish, share pieces of home, and, on the harder days, receive a much-needed hug. Now, about halfway through my clerkship year, reflecting on my experiences, two common themes have emerged: intimate connection and disciplined love.
Finding Purpose
The hospital is a place where we wage war against two constants of life: death and human suffering. What a privilege it is to now stand at the forefront of that battle. Each day I enter the hospital, I am there to learn, but more importantly, I am there to take on some part of the suffering carried by those within its walls. Yes, medical knowledge is essential, but it is in these moments of greatest vulnerability, when we encounter the rawness of the human experience, that sometimes an open heart carries as much weight as what we know. I entered clerkships hoping that, in some small way, I could leave an impact on the patients I cared for. But human connection is a two-way street, and while I hoped to leave something with my patients, I never anticipated how much of them I would carry with me. I carry with me the stories of many patients: my first Spanish-speaking patient in Vermont; a young man I cared for in psychiatry; an older couple whom, by chance, I cared for separately, providing different services and who gifted me a beautiful book on mental health; the many children whose joy and resilience filled both hospital rooms and clinics; the Spanish-speaking families I see monthly in the family room and got to serve as a medical student during my time at the Building Strong Families Clinic; and many more. Each encounter has left something behind. Their stories have marked me, like tattoos on my heart. A permanent reminder of the privilege of being invited into another person’s suffering.
Embracing the Unknown
Although hard, third year has been the most rewarding year of medical school yet. For the first time, I finally feel like I’m doing the thing I came to medical school to do. Clerkships have also surprised me. I knew I enjoyed working with kids, but my experience in pediatrics has only solidified my desire to pursue a pediatric subspecialty. I was also surprised by my love for psychiatry. There is still so much medicine left to learn, but I am beginning to understand that becoming a good physician is about far more than what I know. It is about how deeply I am willing to care, how closely I am willing to listen, and how much of myself I am willing to give in service of another person.
Gracias a todos
To all the physicians, residents, nurses, staff members, and others I have encountered and will encounter, thank you! Thank you for contributing to my education, for your patience as I learn, and for the kindness you have shown me along the way. Thank you for sharing in this human experience and for allowing me the privilege of connecting with you, learning from you, and carrying pieces of your stories with me. You all have shaped the physician I will ultimately be and as I continue forward, I hope to honor all that you have given me by paying it forward—showing others the same patience, compassion, and extraordinary love you have shown me.