Jared Lebowitz is the fiancé of Ali Chivers ’27.
In this blog post Jared shares a reflection of watching his partner apply and go through medical school.
“I feel strangely fortunate to get a front row seat to this arena that’s hard to enter and even harder to complete. I’ve never seen someone work so hard and take out loans for the privilege of doing so. To see what Ali has put into this process will make the satisfaction of a rewarding career that much sweeter.”
At First Sight
Here I am, basking in the aftermath of live streaming yet another Match Day; the last one of these unnerving ceremonies we will watch on a screen. Next year, we’ll be the ones up on that stage. Today, most people in cowboy hats seemed excited when they opened their envelopes … but definitely not everyone. The obligatory thought arises in my mind; the same one that every single medical school student and subsequent partner has while witnessing this ceremony—“I wonder where we’ll end up?”
Ali and I met when admission to Larner was still a dream yet to be realized. I’m a realtor in Burlington and was hosting an open house that neighbored her. Ali and her mom Laurie were dutifully playing the nosy neighbors and we chatted as they walked through the comically shabby house I was selling. They enjoyed my pointing out that since the cabinets all sagged a few inches from the ceiling, they could easily reach the top shelf. Famously, Laurie wrote down her contact information on my sign-in sheet. So naturally I messaged Laurie asking for her daughter’s contact information (tactfully, of course). My first ever point of contact with my now-fiancée was an email that read something along the lines of “the MCAT doesn’t stand a chance. Let’s grab a coffee sometime.”
So, you could say I got in at ground level. I’m so unbelievably thankful I did. I feel strangely fortunate to get a front-row seat to this arena that’s hard to enter and even harder to complete. I’ve never seen someone work so hard and take out loans for the privilege of doing so. To see what Ali has put into this process will make the satisfaction of a rewarding career that much sweeter.
A Balancing Act
We were warned by everyone headed into this process how difficult and all-consuming it would be. There is certainly truth in that, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. Ali and I firmly believe there are daily opportunities to squeeze fun in if you’re insistent upon it. I’m deeply proud of Ali’s academic accomplishments throughout this process (reading her feedback reviews never ceases to bring a smile to my face and occasional proud tear to my eye). That said, I’m just as proud that, according to Strava, Ali logged a personal best in bike milage, vertical feet, and ride count this past year. We have ski toured all over northern Vermont. We’ve been fortunate enough to visit half a dozen ski areas throughout North America (I’m currently writing this from an Air BnB in Revelstoke, BC). We completed a 24-hour mountain bike race with another couple which Ali basically came off the couch for and absolutely crushed. This is not meant to be self-aggrandizing “look at how cool we are.” It’s an honest reflection of what we were told versus the experience we’ve had. Will things work out with a more balanced approach to medical school? That magic envelope will tell us a year from now… but I have my suspicions we’ll be just fine.
Each phase of Larner has had its own flavor. My lasting memory of Ali the first two years of medical school is her slithering out of her office cave. I’d gently ask her if she’d spoken to anyone other than the dog that day. The studying was constant and even if she did a good amount that day, it was never enough. Thus, we developed the philosophy was if there is an endless amount to do, then you’ll never be able to do it all. Therefore, you are totally justified in skipping out on the last few hours and squeezing in some fun.
Enjoying the Present, Looking to the Future
Year 3 kicked off the rotations, which seemed more fun than the classroom work. While the classroom is unavoidable since a large base of knowledge is required, ultimately you’re sitting in a room most of the day. You’re not movin’ and groovin’, learning in a practical setting, interacting with patients and other members of the health care ecosystem. As the partner, it’s most rewarding to have Ali come home after a grinder and be simultaneously exhausted and energized to tell me about her day. Notably, the rotations she was most drawn to seemed to fly by. It became clear that some specialties created energy for her while others drained it. Our dinner conversations often analyzed this and how to apply that information to the remainder of medical school (and beyond).
As the M4s above Ali all have their next phase of the journey locked in, the attention now turns to her and her classmates. We are now staring down the barrel of Step 2, “dazzle us” rotations, and residency applications. The past three years have built to this year, which will culminate with us standing on a stage fighting off a wild spectrum of emotions with the help of some beta blockers. Only then will we have an answer to the question, “I wonder if I’ll have to sell my house?” Guess we’ll find out in a year! M4 doesn’t stand a chance.
